?

Log in

Home of the blind/visually impaired lgbt community [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Home of the blind/visually impaired lgbt community

[ website | BFLAG: an organization for networking and social gatherings for blind friends and members of the LGBT community. ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

intro post [Jul. 13th, 2007|01:56 am]
Home of the blind/visually impaired lgbt community

thought_goddess
[mood |boredbored]
[music |Dresden Dolls ~ Gravity]

*waves like a crazy person* I kind of suck at introducing myself. So, hi! I'm Thought -- no that's not my real name --, and I'm...um... seventeen. Goth. Canadian. A geek. Bi. Dating a lovely girl. a writer. In love with Pauley Perrette. Aware that you have no idea who Pauley Perrette is.

...and very, very bored.
link1 comment|post comment

Noobie [May. 16th, 2007|11:12 pm]
Home of the blind/visually impaired lgbt community
gender_rev
[mood |chipperchipper]
[music |Lacuna Coil -Within Me]

Hello all,

I've been watching this community for awhile and now I finally have the balls to post (excuse the pun)

My name is Nathan, but my birth name is Emily. I'm known as Nathan on LJ. I have been visually impaired since birth. I was born 4 months premature and weighed only 1 pound. I was put in an incubator and the oxygen damaged my retinas therefore decreasing my vision a fair amount. My eye condition is Retinopathy of Prematurity (ROP)

Since I have been visually impaired since birth I don't feel it is a major issue in my life. It's always been there, but I deal with it and I don't even see it as much of a problem. I just do things differently. I prefer the term differently abled rather then disabled. 

Anyway I've always been a lesbian. At first I thought I was bi-sexual, but I mistook my attraction to men as romantic love when in reality it was a mixture of both friendship luv as well as envy. I am also a ftm transsexual. Ever since I was a child I wished that I was a boy. I wish I could be reborn as male, but realistically that isn't going to happen. I've had thoughts of transitioning and that is a struggle that I am still dealing with day to day.

Technically I am a straight man, but by appearance a lesbian female. I have only come out to my mom and step dad about being a lesbian and they were crushed. They kept saying that it will make my life so much harder along with my visual impairment. They always seem to use my visual impairment as an excuse to feel sorry for me when I constantly show them my independence and remind them that I don't need nor want their pitty. I live on my own for god sakes!! lol! I'm in college! Now imagine how crazy they will be once I come out of the closet as a ftm transsexual wanting to transition.

I must admit the lack of vision helps slightly with the visual gender dysphoria, but not much.

Well that is all for now.

Bye for now!

-Nathan



link1 comment|post comment

a lesbian who is blind [Sep. 26th, 2006|08:00 pm]
Home of the blind/visually impaired lgbt community
taintedsight
[mood |pensivepensive]

I'll see if I can actually post successfully this time. I've attempted to send an entry to this community before, but my computer locked up and foiled my efforts. I'll stop short of believing its some conspiracy stilling my self expression and fault Microsoft for designing applications that crash when you so much as sneeze.

Just_jess78 wrote about this perception some people believe, that somehow being gay adds to life's travails if disability or some other minority reality is evident. I never really thought much about this until my grandmother discovered I was a lesbian and flung this concept at me like a 95 mph baseball aimed straight at my head.

I came out when I was 17 to friends. The fact I am blind was always the reality, but I didn't perceive it as a difference growing up. I learned Braille and read books on tape. And my computer was equipped with a speech synthesizer. For me, though, this was tame compared to the growing realization that I liked girls a lot. My blindness didn't keep me sitting in the back of the classroom, cocooned in my own world. You walk around thinking about the women in popular songs and feeling that the pronoun she applies more to what you feel and think than he ever will, and that's a pretty big indication that maybe you're a lesbian. Christ, I used to listen to "Waiting For a Girl Like You' repetitively when I was fourteen, wanting to be free enough to say the words in that song to my best friend. These thoughts, the sense that they represented some major gap between me and the other kids, kept my mouth shut. I was afraid that some of the truths swimming through my emotional and mental wiring might slip out verbally somehow. Blindness was nothing.

When I started coming out, I got more vocal, more confident. By the time I attended college, Melissa Etheridge shook the windows in my dorm room, and I am positive people thought of me as being a lesbian first and foremost. Being blind was still just this lack of sight, a reality that I'd always taken as a given in my life. Being gay, though, was a realization that, when I opened myself up to all the feelings and culture that I read about and strived to be part of, exhilarated me. Blind and gay never fit in to the same sentence; I was a lesbian first, blind somewhere else completely.

Then, my grandparents drove out to pick me up one Thanksgiving weekend from college. I was a junior, and a fledgling glbt organization was developing on campus. A few of us agreed to be contact people for anybody interested in joining or learning more about the group, so fliers were printed and hung at various locations. My grandmother saw one in the foyer of my dorm and reacted hysterically. After the immediate "Oh my God! Are you a lesbian? I can't believe this! How could this happen,", she treated me to silence the entire two-hour ride back to my hometown. She took me aside a few days later, and I got my first taste of the double whammy flavor of thought.

I was at a point in my life where I was unaffected by her assertions that the Bible expressly forbade homosexuality. The pleas to quit this "queer" organization and save myself from shaming the family struck me as sad and ignorant. Then, she resorted to emotional tactics. "Your grandfather would have a heart attack if he knew. Is that what you want?" That idea seemed so absurd, I fought not to snicker. Then, the one leap of thought I never expected. "Don't you have enough to deal with? You already are going to have a hard life. Do you want to make it worse? Isn't one disability enough?" First of all, to see being a lesbian as an impediment by that time was impossible, but I'd never really considered being blind as some stroke of shit karma either. The two realities combined in the same sentence as if they cooked up a recipe for double predictors of loneliness and angst baffled me. All my life, I'd never seen being blind as somehow shameful or representative of some glaring deficit. I didn't expect that. It hurt so much more than her inability to deal with my lesbianism. We failed each other that day. I learned my grandmother could never accept me fully because I was blind, let alone gay, and she learned the control over my life she took for granted was like the tattered shreds of a glbt flier she threw in to the cold air, scattered and lost.

Random people have asked me since that time if I think being blind and gay creates more chalenge in my life. In order for me to answer that affirmatively, I'd have to believe being a lesbian or being blind was somehow shameful, and I honestly wouldn't change either reality. I've thought about it more, though, since that day with my grandmother. I've gotten more involved with some of the blindness organizations and disabled advocacy groups since that time, but I will always be a lesbian first and foremost. Being blind shades all my life experiences in some way, and I've had my share of frustrations at times. I have become a more confident and proud blind person over the past four or five years because of some of the developments in my life, but that feeling is so different and doesn't really measure up to the pride and self respect being a lesbian does. I still grapple with this, and people like to tease me about being a blind lesbian sometimes, but those words in that alignment always create some discomfort for me. Yes, I'm blind, but, when I wake up every day, I'm a lesbian who is blind.
linkpost comment

First Post [Sep. 25th, 2006|05:54 pm]
Home of the blind/visually impaired lgbt community
rainbowjess88
[mood |working]
[music |People aughing]

Hows it going. I just wanted to introduce myself to this community. I had a previous journal that went by the name of silverbell06 but needed to get another one because I hadn’t updated it in months and did not know where to start. My name is Jess and if you read my profile you will find out everything you want to know. My journal is friends only as far as reading it goes but drop me an im or email and I will be glad to add you. Hope I meet people here and have some nice conversations too.
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Sep. 20th, 2006|10:08 am]
Home of the blind/visually impaired lgbt community
just_jess78
[mood |calmcalm]
[music |Background tv noise and the roommate's hairdryer.]

Hey guys! (I recently found out that really PC women sometimes call us gyns, but that just makes me laugh too much.) Anyway, I think it's time to do 2 things. Post, and get more people (friends? enemies? Yeah...let's just stick with friends) to join. I'm going to keep the security on this one public in case people passing through want to see what joining might be like.
I want to tell the story of the first time I realized that being blind and gay might be perceived as a bad thing. I was in Minnesota 9 years ago. I was with my aunt (she's bi) visiting my grandpa. I had just gone through that scary "Uh oh, everything I thought I know has been turned upside down, and now I get it: I like women!" epiphany months before this, and I was on that fine line of terror and desperation about coming out. I bought so many funny, sarcastic gay magnets (for my roommate, of course!) and sort of tiptoed around the discussion. One night, I hung around the house to listen to angry Ani Difranco music (who did I think I was fooling?) while my aunt and grandpa went out to hang with this woman, Rose. I remember them coming back, and my aunt told me she was almost sure this woman was gay. She told her about me. This woman's response (she was in her early 30's) was "Oh, that's a tripple whammy. A blind, gay woman. She's going to have a hard time." I had never thought about it before, and it pissed me off to know that someone wanted to just throw me into one big, jumbled minority status in a second. I realized then that if she could so quickly do that, maybe many other people, friends or interests, would do the same. Now, I think of myself as a gay woman first and foremost because it's the thing I celebrate and am the most proud of. It's something I discovered, worked through and never question or want to change. I feel like I keep learning, growing, and loving my progress more and more. Personally, I think that the blind aspect of myself is often just not a big deal. I am so sure in who I am, what I want and love, that I am not seen as having or made to feel as though I'm part of that "tripple whammy" problem.
Ok, who's next? Similar or completely random stories? Give me something to read!
linkpost comment

Shameless Promotion [Aug. 28th, 2006|09:22 pm]
Home of the blind/visually impaired lgbt community
just_jess78
[mood |productive]

As my whirlwind summer comes to an end, I decided to create a community. I've found myself talking to an increasing number of blind/visually impaired people over the last 6 months or so. What I'm finding is that I'm not the only person wandering around in this world who identifies as gay and blind. For all of us who keep wondering where the other people are who get how complicated approaching that cute person is, dating, and outing ourselves doubly as LGBT and blind, I've created a place to share stories, suggestions, frustrations and any other sort of discussion related to the blind-lgbt community. I have set up moderated membership, so please, be respectful of others and realize that for some, they may be able to be more out in this community than their regular journals. Let's maintain a "what happens here stays here" policy, and if you want to join, click the link below.

lgb_blind

A shameless plug wouldn't be complete if I didn't beg you to invite other lgb-blind people to check out the site.
Happy posting,
~Jess
linkpost comment

navigation
[ viewing | 10 entries back ]
[ go | later ]